Everyoooooooone!!
Gosh its been such a very long long long time since I last wrote, and yeah there’s been a time or two—or three or four, maybe—that I’ve been takin my ass up facing the laptop to go back onto the blogging world, but things got really hectic and blog is quite some last numbers to do.
AND YEAAAAAH GUYSSSSS ITS BEEN VERY HECTIC, since im now in the senior year, theres no more wander off, no more over play, no more SCHOOL-SHITTING!! And ah I guess I have no choice cus—okkaaay I agree with my mom—now me and others rakit bambu—my school year’s name—are facing a very very very important and critical phase in our life, doin preparation for college.
Haven’t I told u that I want FK? Yes, the FAKULTAS KEDOKTERAN that I always hated with my biggest will and with my whole body heart and soul, but I want it goooosh I’m dying for it! I don’t know what to say about it, I am now in a condition that FK is important for me, well for my future.
I never liked science, I always want to on with social studies, and that’s true and its still my biggest passion until now, well even im not really into communication and fashion anymore, its just, I do still want to go on with social studies. And yea I know u must be questioning about my choice, rite? I’m a bit “dangkal” with this argument, but I think I took science as my high school major not to go off to social studies. I always think if I do take social later, my science skill will be very useless, and I should’ve taken social instead.
I know it was always about my mom forcing her “rights” into my life, but I guess her sayings are almost right, got it really, thru times and conditions ive been, and I never regret of her putting—even forcing—her view to me, cus I really am recognized now that as a teen, im not really a stable one and I will be very helpless and regretful if im not directed and instructed.
And yes im talking about this that I may never thought this wise saying but things sometimes come up when we’re not really hoping for them to come, rite?
And I guess that’s what I am now. Even that I still have another choice, but I feel that I am helpless, cus I don’t really know how the outside world really revolves around, u know. Its not that I think u shouldn’t be with ur choice—no, really. Go on if u really feel like it—but its just, even my life is under control and I really believe it 100% but I still need guidance, and advices, even if I accepted it as a force, I think the elders know thru their longer experience n knowing about the world and life, rite?
But I AM STILL helpless. I know I shouldn’t be, and I think I have many choices around me, but thats the matter! Those choices, I don’t really know what best fits me. I think they all do. And I like them. And yes, im talking about choices I can take besides FK for my college. I have been so much into psychology and I think I can do it and it does fit me. I think im into pharmacy, or architecture, or……. and I can do it and it does fit me. I always think that my mom can handle it all, she always knew what best for me. But for now, she doesn’t put her “force” into my life, she let me off with things I’d like to take, “its ur life, u made ur own decision”, but that what makes me feel more helpless.
I AM STILL HELPLESS and I know that I shouldn’t be. My mom, isn’t this is what I always want to happened, to come into existence in my whole life and I would give up anything for it to happen? And yes I know now its come up already, BUT WHY IN THE WORLD I FEEL HELPLESS AND CANT DO NOTHING ABOUT IT?????
I AM STILL HELPLESS. I feel if im go on with FK, I would may feel like it, but I don’t know in a year or two ahead, would my willing still be the same? While on the other hand I’ve known bit about psycho and yes I really feel like it, but I don’t know a year or two ahead I can guarantee that I wouldn’t be interested into FK. While about the others, thanks God I think im sure already that they will come up as my next and next and next choices.
I AM STILL HELPLESS and People always adviced about doin solat istihoroh, and yes I will. and god I don’t know else where to ask for guidance and help, please help me.
Anywaaaaaay cheer up guuuuuuuuys (and u too, San!), u know that every decision u take u have to be total in it and theres no way u can do to turn back, okkkaaay? Wish me luck and can be helpful for my own self yaaaaaaa. BEST LUCK FOR YOU TOO!!
p.s: I really want to story story something niiiiih, but I guess its enough for now yaaaaaa, nanti lagi deh haha
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