Akhir-akhir ini, gue ngerasa hidup gue cuma berputar-putar di sekitarnya. Yup, that 2-syllable simple word. Entah—ini pede tingkat nirwana—orang sirik sama gue, atau sirik-menyirik antara orang-orang sekitar, dan bahkan—ini yang paling honest—gue yang sirik ke orang lain. It’s funny actually to realize that the word “envy” somehow sounds terribly bad, but sooo humane. I mean, come on, oneself with no envious mind? Cuma 2: Angels, or God. Cus—please correct me if I’m wrong—even the most sin-purified man ever existed (the Prophets) had had those kinds of feeling. And you may have the question of “what’s so special about them, then?” rifing up in your mind, right? Well, ini cuma pemikiran gue aja, tapi, mungkin… they somehow can manage it well. Yes, manage their envy.
I’m not trying to bring this religiously, or spiritually, but what I’m trying to say is when we’re envy to someone, or something, or some situations and stuffs, we are actually harming ourselves. Don’t you see that it’s actually our mind makes it up? Envy is the situation where we feel others are much much much more better than us. Bigger, stronger, higher, everything they are more capable of, and we don’t. And it’s only happening around our mind. It’s all soooo virtual. We are feeling bad for ourselves because our-own-selves make us think that way.
Yes, it’s all about our mind, our thoughts. It probably sounds corny, but katanya hypnotherapist juga, “you are what you think, you get what you think.” Try it this way, may be others can be bigger, or stonger, or higher, but who says they are there instantly? And who says we can’t get there, or even more than they are now? Mereka itu living facilities life provided for us to learn. Ketika “mereka lebih hebat” maka galilah sesuatu dari itu, make advantages out of it, manfaatkanlah, belajarlah dari mereka. Ubahlah mindset dari destructive envy menjadi constructive envy.
Yup, destructive. Rasa iri itu—ibarat di serial spiderman—kea venom, kalo kita biarin, it will eat us up by every hatred it plants. And the worst part? It gets stronger and stronger. Kenapa destructive? Karena ketika lo ngerasa iri dan selalu benci sama orang tersebut, lo bakalan terus menerus mengawasi gerak-geriknya, keep on praying he will do wrong and once he does, you will be the first to tell the world about it. But what’s the point? If he ever does wrong, and what? I mean, what good it can do to you? Unless you’re his competitor that are fighting for consumers that are choosing between you and him, you get nothing but just temporary satisfaction.
ITU PUN KALO DIA BERBUAT SALAH, kalo engga? Kata gue, lo gambling banget. Gini, ketika lo envious to someone, you think that person is better than you, then, logically, apa lo yakin dia bakalan berbuat salah? Kemungkinannya kecil kan? Kalo dia emang ga becus, untuk apa lo harus iri? Ya ga? Jadi you’re actually wasting your time seeking for his lack, sementara dia terus dan terus menjadi lebih hebat, dan lo tetep aja stuck dengan lo yang sekarang, ga berkembang. Karena, apa kerjaan lo? Nyari kesalahan dia, kan, jadinya? Terus, apa? Apa urgensinya? Lo ga dapet apa-apa dari itu.
And here’s the part where the idea of constructive envy born. (Udah sempet gue singgung tentang ini sebelumnya) Terhadap orang-orang yang better than us, coba jadikan mereka pelajaran. Learn from them. Mereka real, mereka natural. If we take them as lesson, it will be as real and natural as our envious mind itself. And it’s so factual that something real is much more digestable by mind than essays, or uttered and written perspective—you know, those formals and stuffs.
The other thing is, jadikan rasa iri yang kita punya sebagai trigger buat kita berkarya lebih dan lebih lagi. Jadikan rasa iri sebagai motivasi. Makanya, kenapa gue tetep stick up to “sah-sah aja punya rasa iri”, karena dengannya kita bakal mempunyai passion. Passion inilah yang kudu diarahkan menjadi trigger buat kita berkembang, dan ngebuktiin bahwa kita bisa, kita mampu, kita sama kea yang laen, bahkan lebih.
AND THAT IS WHAT I CALL AS MANAGEMENT OF ENVY.
Ketika lo ngerasa ga enak, ada hal yang ga sesuai dengan keinginan lo, inget aja: we always have positivity behind everything. Tinggal gimana caranya memandang sesuatu tersebut, dan menjadikannya pembelajaran sehingga kita bisa mendapatkan manfaat darinya tanpa harus melakukan hal yang buruk terhadapnya. Kembali lagi, it’s all about our mind. Mungkin kalo boleh menyadur sedikit kata-kata fenomenal nya the great classic spiritual guru AA GYM, “Jagalah Hati.”
SOOOOO, keep on keeping on and be passionate! Kalo kata Korean addict: FIGHTING!!!
Siapa bilang kita ga boleh sirik!? ☺
ICHSAN FADILLAH
NB: Punten pisan, tulisan ini cuma dimaksudkan buat mengingatkan diri sendiri aja. Mau “berbagi pandangan dalam suasana sejuk” kalo kata Om Wimar Witular di twitter (@wimar), mah.
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